There are moments in life that quietly rearrange you.

Not with noise. Not with fireworks. But with something much softer.

A tiny hand curling around your finger. The sight of your daughter holding her newborn baby girl. The realization that time has somehow folded in on itself and opened a new door you never quite knew existed.

Becoming a grandmother has …

Read more

There is a kind of grief that does not arrive with a phone call.

No casseroles at the door.
No black clothing.
No moment where life clearly divides into before and after.

It is the grief of slowly realizing that the family you grew up in shaped you in ways you are only now beginning to understand.

It doesn’t hit all at once.
It unfolds in quiet recognitions.

I…

Read more

Autumn has a way of drawing us inward.
The air cools, the light softens and the trees remind us that letting go can be beautiful. It is the season of gathering in, of pulling blankets close, of lighting candles, of listening to the quiet voice within.

And just as nature shifts, so do we. Autumn offers us the gift of reflection. It asks us to notice, to pa…

Read more

I never imagined I would miss the never-ending piles of laundry. Ten loads a week once felt like an endless chore, yet now the absence of it feels like a silence I wasn’t prepared for. I didn’t know how lonely a clean laundry basket could feel, how still a house could sound once my children grew up and moved on.

As a single mom with three kids, five year…

Read more

I wish for time to take it slow

and last beyond the breath I breathe

But just as I exhale

It’s gone

It reappears again,

when I next inhale,

but never lasts.

Its fleeting nature makes me want it more,

than I ever have

before.

Read more

‘Yes, this is my absolute dream job!’ - I hear myself saying this sentence for the fifth time this week. Desperate to finally get the job. Any job, really - because I need to pay the bills.

Every single interview I’ve had, whether it was for an opening at the local supermarket, a nearby municipality position, a librarian job or remedial teaching, I have…

Read more

As many of you know, the past few years have been tough. Very tough. My burn-out brought a lot of childhood pain to the surface and I have been seeing a therapist for the past three and a half years to help me through the whole healing proces. It hasn’t been easy. But I always felt supported by the fact that I was lucky enough to receive financial aid f…

Read more

The title of this blog may not sound very appealing, but it’s not meant to put you off, I merely want to reflect on what midlife brings to the table for me.

Epiphany:

When your children become adults, the parent-child relationship changes.

I am a divorced-sin…

Read more

Drops of cloud turned into water

Fell upon the heads of state

Clearing out their brains of heavy matter

Inundating them with clarity

Whilst drowning out the madness

Making place for sanity

A hopeful wish on this cold and cloudy,

Rainy day.

Read more

Read more

Therapy helps you sort and clear.

It’s been a hell of a job, if I may say so.

The ugliest of traits were put into the spotlight.

Not to shame, but to relieve them of their duties.

Read more

I rent nowadays.

That wasn’t the case in the past. I lived a very different life back then. I live very much in the moment now, because the thoughts that arise when I don’t live in the moment still scare the shit out of me. Don’t worry though, I’m working on it!

In the meantime, I want to share a happy post. One of immens gratitude and love for a place …

Read more

Autumn is not my favorite season.

I want it to be.

I really do.

If only because it’s so beautifully colored and has extravagantly fading foliage.

But it’s not.

It sits in the pit of my stomach.

Causing havoc.

Clouding views.

Stirring tears.

Barely allowing time to breathe.

When Autumn comes,

I fall.

Into depths of despair,

sullen sadness

and wretched realness.

Far …

Read more

Autumn morning light

Sunbeams warm the day ahead

Gratitude awakens

Share

Read more

I’m sitting at my new window desk watching the rain pour down before me. The European rain showers have become more tropical than they ever used to be. They appear out of nowhere and come crashing down from the sky with great force, only to stop quite suddenly as if to take a breather.

Read more

I’ve been busy…. finding us a new home!

I’m so happy to share with you all that the perfect house for us, suddenly appeared out of nowhere! It’s a lovely little - affordable - rental home in my own town even, so I’m thrilled. We’ll be moving in shortly and I’ve been extremely busy trying to get everything organized to properly do so.

Read more

In between the layers of childhood messes

I saw you hiding,

as if waiting to be found.

Come close, said the fog as it slowly lifted

and the starlight made her way into your broken heart.

Go!

Shine brightly!

The world is yours my inner-child.

Read more

Time feels e n d l e s s

when we’re young.

We live through all the SeAsONs

however they may come.

Read more

It’s been quiet here on my Substack.

Very quiet.

I haven’t written much, but thought a lot.

Constantly wondering about my life and where it’s heading - if anywhere at all.

It feels heavy again, with no future in sight, just worries and gloom. The early spring sun barely dares to show itself to me, or so it feels. The fickle weather mirrors how I feel in…

Read more

Some days, like today, I procrastinate and hide.

I’m not proud of it, but it happens. I get taken over and paralyzed. I’ve been told it’s a natural trauma response that kicks in when I feel overwhelmed or when (like now) my body is recovering from another deep tissue massage. It causes things to 'move’ around. It unsettles my system so that it can sett…

Read more